Raising Future Queens

Raising our future queens,

 

A while back I wrote about knowing self-worth, I also wrote about being classy. Now that we have covered those it is time to cover what some of may have missed. As a mother of young ladies, it is important that they understand their self-worth and their value.

 Teaching young ladies about the ways to love them and focus on the important things of themselves. Encourage them with any dreams or wants that they want to achieve. Making sure that the rising queen understands how to love themselves inside and out. No matter what their physical appearance understanding they are beautiful no matter what. It is our jobs as mother’s, aunt’s, cousins, etc. to make sure we are encouraging these young beautiful ladies and let them know they are beautiful.  When they learn to love themselves no matter what it builds so much self-confidence that they never have to question their ability to achieve anything that they want.

I have an awesome friend who has a beautiful daughter that is albino and she is so gorgeous, and many children do not always understand about her being albino. the relationship that her mother is building with her she is very special and awesome and is important that her daughter knows and understands who she is and that God made her special. she loves the skin she’s in, my friend is transforming a princess into a rising queen. (You can find this beautiful girl and her beautiful mother on www.JazmineCasado.com) Being a supportive mom and a open mother minded mother allows so many awesome things to come about with the rising princess that you are raising.

 

Related imageDo not ever tell them that they can’t do something, even if it seems impossible to encourage and find a way to help them navigate their aspirations. College is not for everyone, this something is very important to understand the time that I was raised in, you were supposed to go to college and if you didn’t go to college you would never be able to be successful, which is not at all true. As a mother, you know what child can go off to college some children are better at a skill such as cosmetology, culinary, construction, trucking or even automotive. Believe in your child, if your child wants to be an astronaut allow your child to read about planets etc.

Remember lead by example, even when you think your daughter is not watching you, she is watching you. You have to remember what you display or delivery they will mimic, from the way you dress, walk, talk, etc. I never thought it was important for my daughters to see me graduate from college, but many people encouraged me to walk across the stage, and they saw me do it three times it has had a major impact in my family. So, make sure you lead by example.

 

As always let’s talk discuss leave comments etc.

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Busy Life & Married with Children

Busy Life & Married with Children

Ok this not the 1920’s we’re the wife just takes care of the house, so how do you make time for your spouse, and your children?

So, with the busy lives we all have whether it is busy with work, school, kids supporting events, social events birthday parties and that list can go on and on. You must take time out.

Making time for the children:

Making time daily makes a world a difference at least 30 mins to each child talk about their day, the goals, ideas, read to them, during bath time sit and read or talk to them. Asking your child what’s on their mind is so intriguing to know what goes on with them.Related image When ever you take a moment to really realize that the 30 mins each day means the world to them. And once a week take a 1 or 2 and do something with your child that time with them makes a difference in behavior. Making time for the child(ren) lows the risk of depression, separation anxiety, and even open’s the window of opportunity to give the child to come to and talk to you ( the parent) about things that may be difficult but opening the lines of communication is very important.

 Making time for your spouse:

Having time for them is simple taking 15 mins in the morning to just check on them, making sure that they are doing ok, or simple “I love  you “ “do you have everything?”, mean so much or a “ how are you really doing?” show the care and passion for your spouse. Sending an email or a text to check on them through out the day is making time for your spouse. When you take 30 mins at the end of the day after the children are down just talking about nothing or laughing make for a relief of happiness, and that your spouse truly cares. That feeling that your other half cares about your day and what you may be dealing with is very important.  Planning date nights even if its in the house is important (doesn’t always mean you have to have sex).

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Making time and communicating with your family understanding what they are dealing with and what they be struggling with as well as the fun that you can by taking out time through out the day is more than buying a 100 toys or send 3 dozen roses , or spending $100’s trying to buy time or making your guilt feel better, remember that making 30 mins a day for you child(ren) & your spouse effects everyone even yourself.

What will you do the next time you are so busy?  How will you make time for your child & spouse?

 

as always leave feedback i love to hear from the readers.

 

 

Spending with Purpose

Spending with a purpose

Growing up I always heard save, save, save. Well as a child coming from struggles it always was hard to save because growing up in the struggle made you want so many more things, shoe the glitz the glam etc. many times we see the stars with all these nice things. Well that’s all nice, here’s what we forget, we must teach our children that there is more to the material things. Many times, the stars and celebrities receive those things for free, as gifts, for discounted etc.

Image result for black art family shopping

Teaching children at a young age to save and invest at a young age is very important. Not just saying it but showing a child how to save, what it means to save, what it means to invest. In the process of teaching your child be led by example. There are so many misguided people in the world because some of the basic things were not taught. For example, my daughter gets money for her birthday she is only allowed to spend between 50% to 30% of what she received the rest she has to put away and save, she has done that and is currently investing her money into her own small business. That she will now receive a return on her money that she invested in, with her invested return she will then save to expand her current investment or to start another invest. That is her decision.

Image result for money tree artwork

Teaching a child about the value of money is better than allowing the child just to spend and not have a purpose. Spending with a purpose allows the child to value what they invest in.

 

Spend with a purpose each time you decide to spend; splurging is ok but splurge with a purpose. when you work hard for your all mighty dollar it makes you spend with a purpose.

 

How will teach your child to save?

How will you lead by example?

Will you spend with a purpose?

Please feel free to send feedback let’s talk

 

As Always, She Talks, Let’s talk. You can also visit my Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/shetalksthisthatandtheother/

Fear as an African America mom

Fear as an African America mom

How many times as a mother do you feel that you are failing?

How many times do you feel like you are never going to make it in life?

As an African American mother, I can tell you that I have been faced with these fears and it is something that you must unlearn. Something that you must change those fears. Take all the fears with in you into, your own hands and make it something that you can make yourself proud. Take those fears and teach your child or children that having fears are normal but to take your fears and have the power of your fears to manifest into something great.

For example: Many of us want our own, own business, own home etc. so instead of being scared and worried about others my think or may say, if it makes you happy no longer allow those fears to hold you back.

If you feel you are going to fail, go back and figure out how to not fail, as a mother it is important that you never allow failure take over you. Fear and failure are two things that are there to be your fuel to exceed all expectations of yourself, your peers, your community.

Being able to take fear and failures, make the two become your challenges. As a mother and a woman being able to uplift another is more important to yourself then breaking down another one down, as a mother and a woman breaking one another down also makes you and the have the fear or failure.

Being able to find your fears weather it is 1 or 100 fears take each day and tackle that fear, make each fear a strength, never have fear and failure block your goals, block your blessings, never allow fear to keep you from being the best you, never allow fear and failure to keep you from being the best mom you can be.

Decide what your fears are? decide how can take those fears and be great? Decide how can I take those fears and be my story? Decide how can your fears not become your failure? Only you must take control of your fears and failures,

Like always love to hear feed back

Families in the New age

                It’s been awhile since I blogged I have been so busy with other projects and just normal day to day life in this new age time there is so man different obstacles that we all face, as a parent there are so many more obstacles that we are all faced with.

                 For example, when we were growing up yelling screaming were accepted by parents as a form of discipline, but now that we are adults we feel so many ways about the way our parents raised us. Now we feel as parents we must step back and try not to be that way and its ok.

pray

Raising a family takes a lot of love patients and care… mothers have the instincts to just deal with each issue as to some fathers are the ones that just put their foot down but a dad is a vital part of child’s life making sure that children receive love care nourishment and disciplines is a major key to having respectful children.

Spanking is something I feel as a last result as to no other form of punishments working but to spank for everything is harsh. I found yelling is harsh as well…some tactics I feel are better used by talking to your child. But not all the time lol because kids need to know parents will not always sit and talking…having a good balanced understanding is very important.

also, Moms and Dads please be on the same page about disciplining as well asensuouswhispers raising the kiddos or you all will be creating monsters…please make sure parents children are not robots and they are human and grooming them in to respectful and well manned and behaved children is the goal.

Showing your children love and laughter can make children understand mom and daddy love you no matter what.

Please feel free to ask questions give feedback lets talk!

Love She Talks….

Season Change & Relationship Status Change

hey I’m back…so let’s get to talking

 

2bbb2d15fdaca97a2cea55c127c9f5f9so seasons are changing so that means people are about to switch up their relationship status…funny enough this mainly for my single people and my open relationship type people…lol I find it very …excuse me extremely funny how people stop having relationship issues when it starts getting cold, or the fact that its more love than three months ago lol….people start getting engaged…lol but this was the same man who 4 months ago needed space…lol or the same female who wasn’t sure if she was ready to be committed lol its hilarious to me…

Why do people go back in forth just because the weather is changing??? Please someone tell me…when you get to a certain age we need to get some place and sit down…

Also it’s the time of the season when you get those hating single friends who are mad about you having someone…please go sit your snuggie wear alone I don’t need nobody behind down lol…I’m just saying…lol

Also just because it Is getting cold ladies don’t go get pregnant just because you two are ok in the winter and you know you all won’t be ok when it gets warmmidnightsnackii let’s be smart…I get it no one wants to be alone but at least be smart not dumb lol.

Why is commitment so hard? I don’t understand?

Let’s grow up seriously people. Let’s get smart it’s not just men its women and it’s not just a black thing white people do it too…Mexicans etc…its everyone. If you have a good relationship don’t let the season dictate your relationship…better yet don’t let the single friends dictate your relationship status…

 

Really folks let’s talk about it I’m try to understand It….

 

Love she talks.

Holiday Family time

Be real about the holidays

 

Ok let’s talk about family functions I know with the upcoming holidays let’s be honest when you are married you don’t want to run all over time but at the same time you don’t want argue with your spouse, but you know if you don’t go see the family it’s a problem. Well don’t go to one without going to the other. Some may ask well why? Because you might not hear it now but trust me you will…. That goes for men and women just take 30 minutes to visit family, on major holidays chose one to spend the first part 7e4c86c773eab5d398f363e22c35635dof the day and the other half with the others, be real save the family that is more enjoyable for last.

But never be scared to tell both families you all are going to enjoy the family of yours meaning the ones who live in your household, people have not yet realized that you have to start your own traditions as well. Some may not understand such as the family members who hate their kids, the “I have no spouse”, the “they think they better family members “lol its true every family has them. My response is yes I have a spouse, I don’t think I’m better I just don’t want to hear the negative I don’t need a man speech, because yes you do…. That’s a whole other subject lol.

Holidays are about having fun…. And spending time making good memories. Making sure that you enjoy it is what matters2bfe17a27f8dce5e0a811f1336eeab98 and FYI you don’t have to go broke to enjoy the holidays either, remember you have to live after this …. Everyone enjoy your holiday be safe and remember be fair with the holiday not lop sided.

 

 

Keep your home happy and your marriage fair

 

Love she talks

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